72% of Michael’s dreams start this way

Due to, ahem, “financial difficulties,” Michael Jackson is back in the studio recording a new album. And he’s serious about it . . . like, “keep all kids away” serious. The New York Post says:

He’s hired music producers RedOne and Akon to mastermind his new album, and the trio began working together at the Palms recording studio in Las Vegas Wednesday. “Michael is producing the album himself and then will sell it to a record company when he’s finished,” our spy said. To maintain the utmost concentration, “Michael has banned his kids from the recording studio. He realizes this is very important and doesn’t want any distractions.” (Source)

He doesn’t want any “distractions”? I’m pretty sure I read in last year’s pedophile handbook (now in paperback!) that “distractions” is code for “unsupervised semen receptacles.” And what parents are still letting their kids hang around with this pederast? Taking your underage children to hang out with Michael Jackson is like taking a pastry to Rosie . . . both will be swallowed whole.